When Anne Shirley finds out that she can go to college after all, after having given up that dream, she says, “Oh, Marilla! I feel like someone has handed me the moon and I don’t know what to do with it!”
That’s how I feel today.
When we found out last Monday that this house wasn’t going to happen, I felt absolutely heartbroken. Really. Like, crushed. And part of it was actually losing the house that I loved. And partly because I truly, really, deeply belived in the idea of the Law of Attraction. That I had the power to dream and manifest what I wanted in my life by the combination of the power of positive thinking, and my own hard work. I took the steps to get what I wanted, all the while believing that my thoughts had the power to make it happen. It was a leap of faith, and experiement in believing, and…it worked. It freaking worked. All week I’ve been feeling like the Universe and I had kind of broken up. I was singing sad songs while the rain poured down the window pane, feeling all disappointed in my Universe/Godforce/Spirit/Santa Claus. Whatever. That good in the world. And now? Universe…you and me are back on.
We got the house. Not the new, settling house. The great big Dreamhouse with a room for everyone and a two-car garage. We took a risk, decided to walk away from the short sale, and the bank said, “Fine. FINE. You win. Done. Well played, Brownes. Well played.”
We got the house that’s five minutes from the Saads. That’s two minutes from the highway. That passes Dunkin Donuts AND CVS on the way to my work. The one with rhododendrons for building fairy houses, and the perfect space for the player piano.
We’re not signed on the dotted line yet (tomorrow morning) and I’m still jaded enough to reserve a tiny bit of heart-armor until it’s totally done. But as it stands right now, we got the house.
I know I’m being dramatic about it, and I totally don’t even care. I feel dramatic about it. It’s the scene in Sixteen Candles where Molly Ringwald sits on the piano with that cute guy on her birthday. Happy ending. Happy beginning.
Remember when we first got computers in school and you learned how to make your name go in a continual scroll down the screen? And if you were super-cool, you could make it look like it was kind of swirling? And your wrote commands like list and run and go. If I remembered how, I would design one of those for the Universe, and it would just say thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you……….