Dear Sixth Grade Boys,
I am so sorry that the video we watched on the history versus myth of the Trojan War had slides of famous paintings of Helen of Troy. I am also sorry that the beautiful Helen has inspired painters and sculptors to paint her topless for the past two thousand years. I am further sorry that it's called the TROJAN war, and that some scientist in his infinite wisdom decided to name condoms after a thing that future middle school teachers would have to say repeatedly. All of these are beyond my control.
I would respectfully request, though, that you HOLD IT TOGETHER. I know it's spring, I know there's precious little to laugh about in sixth grade, but we only have thirty more days to go so let's try to help each other, shall we?