Thursday, November 12, 2009

Being Attentive

One thing about getting older that I have really liked is growing braver. I was always very afraid of everything growing up. Everything. I had no trust and my only sense of stability was tied to my mom, and to theater. Nothing else could truly really be counted on.

I feel less and less like that the older I get. I have come to realize that there’s a lot more to trust and believe in than I expected. I feel that there are any number of absolute truths in my life, things I can speak and know with complete confidence and authority. There are relationships and connections that I am so completely sure of. Loves that I’ve had that I know and appreciate completely. Love that I know now with my family and my friends that I am utterly present in, focused on, and appreciative of. (See how I ended all of those with prepositions? Totally meant to do that.)

I actually think that most attentive people feel the way that I do. I think, though, that sometimes people forget to be attentive.

Another thing I like about getting older? I pay much more attention where it matters.

I am making some lists tonight, and checking them twice. You should make some, too. Make a list of what you're thankful for, and be as specific as you possibly can. Balance them between the big things, like your health, and the little things, like chocolate covered cherries and chardonnay. go ahead. It'll be fun.

1 comment:

  1. I really love this post. It's such a clear snapshot of who you are and how you are always growing and changing and learning new lessons.

    But you shouldn't end your thoughts with prepositions. Bitch.

    (For anyone else reading this comment, I wasn't actually calling her a bitch. It's a joke, I promise.)