Are you there, Universe? It's me, Kelly.
Let's have a little chat, shall we?
First of all, thanks for the offer on my house yesterday. And thanks for my healthy children and my nice husband and my sweet mother and the many blessings you have granted me.
But, Universe, let's cut to the chase.
As you know, I am a total techno-phobe. I am on a need-to-know basis with all things technology, from video cameras to the internet and everything in between.
I don't do slide shows, Universe. And because the best laid plans of mice and men did not pan out in the Chinese Translation system for Thoroughly Modern Millie, which opens tomorrow and which is NOT READY, I have just created my first powerpoint. First EVER, might I add, and because tonight was our final dress, and I didn't know I needed it, I missed my one and only chance to practice using this along with the dialogue and music cues.
So, Universe...my friend...here's the thing. These kids have worked very freaking hard. And everyone's tired and I'm three days away from an EPIC pajama done day, and I'm asking for some support, here. Please make this power point work the way it's supposed to. Every day, millions of office workers and teachers and...I don't know...lots of people...use slide shows and they come off without a hitch. Please let this one come off without a hitch.
Please don't accidentally flash up some forgotten porn from my hard-drive, or a journal entry, or photographs of my new house or an I.M. from someone on Facebook. Please synch up with the computer, and just do what you're designed to do. Translate Chinese. I will be sitting on a stool, eating way too many Starburst and praying and pressing that freaking space bar with authority. Just go with me, here, okay?
One very tired, very nervous high school theatre director will be eternally grateful.
Peace out, Universe. Let's be BFF, 'kay? Work with me on this one.