Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Balance

My beverage for this Vacation House is the Limoncello martini. It’s citron vodka, loads of crushed ice, and limoncello. I love it.

Worked on my play yesterday, and a little smidge tonight. It’s not at the level I want it to be, either quality or quantity. Not yet, and I can’t quite envision that it’s going to get that far in the next couple of weeks. I am trying to maintain my faith in it, though.

A right wing, anti-choice republican got elected to Ted Kennedy’s senate seat today. It feels like one of the horsemen of the apocalypse. Remember how I said that I have an embarrassing and irrational fear of 2012? There are times when I think that all of those things we have been warned about are happening – 200,000 lives lost to an earthquake in one of the already most desperate populations in the world. Tsunamis and extreme snow and freezing temperatures in Florida. Extremists taking over the government and disenfranchising both its most needy and most idealistic…I know I am being ridiculous, and someone could come along and show me statistics from hundreds of years worth of history and weather patterns proving that things are way better now than they ever have been and I would believe them. Mostly. Still...there would remain a tiny little sliver of doubt.

And then I was looking at Ghandi quotes…these are the strange things I do to occupy my leisure time. And I found one that said, “There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.” That’s the other side of it, the one that keeps me moving forward in my life. Raising my children, striving to teach the children well and dress them in sparkly costumes, finding things to laugh about and people to cherish. There are shows to see and martinis to raise...and also houses to build and kids to inspire and daughters to raise. Life – the world - is all of those things. Terrifying and joyful. Flighty and full of meaning.

Ugh. I know this is so corny and that people spout treacle like this all the time. But the truth is…this is exactly how I really feel. Corny or not.

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