Dear Sixth Grade Boy

Again, with the farts? I beg you, guys...move on. And if you're the dealer...my bathroom policy is so incredibly liberal. Just go when you need to go, and sign out on the chart. No questions asked. You're old enough now to recognize when you feel one coming on. Take a walk, please. Please please please.

And, incidentally, I am deeply sorry that Lois Lowry put the verb "fingering" into The Giver when talking about the new name badges. I, too, wish that she had thought ahead and envisioned how that might land in your twelve-year-old minds. But I tried to read past it really quickly. I know...you might have recovered if the word "throng" hadn't followed in the next paragraph, but I assure you, it means "crowd." Honestly.

Sixth Grade Boys, we're all so glad it's Friday.

Sincerely,
Your Slightly Exasperated Teacher